I WANT TO GIVE A SHOUT OUT TO MEGGY VON MEGERSTIEN AND L'IL CARLY-DEE. THEY'RE THE REAL REASON WHY I WRITE MEMOIRS. IT'S NOT THE MONEY, REALLY.

THE GUY FROM BURGER KING WAS PEEKING THROUGH MY WINDOW AGAIN TODAY.

I'VE BEEN HAVING REALLY BAD LUCK WITH SOUP LATELY. WHAT'S UP WITH THAT? I USED TO LOVE SOUP, AND I THOUGHT IT LOVED ME BACK. IS IT JUST ME? BEWARE OF SOUP EVERYONE.

I'M CRAVING A BEIGNET RIGHT NOW AND THERE'S REALLY NOWHERE I COULD GET ONE. SINCE I DON'T DENY MYSELF ANYTHING, I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S MY BODY'S WAY OF JUST FUCKING WITH ME. IT'S SORT OF POINTLESS TO HAVE A CRAVING FOR SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE IN YOUR PANTRY, ANYWAY.