IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU WHO DOESN'T LOVE YOU BACK, INSTEAD OF WHINING ABOUT IT, THERE'S A REALLY SIMPLE THING YOU CAN DO FOR GUARANTEED SUCCESS: YOU WRITE DOWN ON A PIECE OF PAPER "SO-AND-SO WILL BE MY BOYFRIEND" (OR WHATEVER). THEN YOU TAKE THE LETERS AND REARRANGE IT INTO A SENTANCE. THE SENTANCE DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE, BUT IT'S BETTER IF IT DOES. THEN YOU DESTROY THE ORIGNAL PIECE OF PAPER IN A CREATIVE WAY. WRITE DOWN THE SENTANCE ON A DIFFERENT PIECE OF PAPER AND CARRY IT WITH YOU OR SAY IT OUT LOUD WHEN YOU'RE JERKING OFF OR BURN IT OR CUT IT INTO AS MANY PIECES AS POSSIBLE. FORGET ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST DID AND FORGET THE WHOLE THING. THIS CAN BE TOUGH, BUT DON'T SWEAT IT AND FIND SOLACE IN THE FACT THAT WHAT YOU WROTE DOWN WILL COME TRUE. NOT OVERNIGHT BUT EVENTUALLY.