I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET, COMING FROM TRADER JOE'S, MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS, WHEN THIS WOMAN -- A PERFECTLY NORMAL LOOKING STRANGER -- SAID TO ME, "YOU SHOULD TRY THEIR LO MEIN." AND SO I SAID, "WHAT?" AND SHE SAID, "TRADER JOE'S LO MEIN ... IT'S REALLY GOOD. THEY SELL OUT OF IT MOST DAYS."

I DON'T FUCKING CARE! DID I FUCKING ASK? ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME THE TWO SECONDS OF MY LIFE BACK THAT YOU JUST STOLE FROM ME?