I WAS STONED AT 3 AM AND WALKING AROUND TAKING PICTURES OF ORDINARY THINGS. AS I CROSSED MARKET STREET, I FOUND A WALLET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. I PICKED IT UP, AND LOOKED THROUGH IT. IT WAS A MUNI DRIVER'S WALLET, FROM WHAT I COULD TELL. THERE WAS NO MONEY IN IT.

AGAIN, I WAS PRESENTED WITH THE OPORTUNITY TO DO A GOOD DEED. I WAS PUTTING IT INTO THE MAIL BOX (THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO, RIGHT?) WHEN A RANCID, PISS DRUNK HOMELESS THING CAME UP TO ME AND SAID, "WAIT, STOP! THAT'S MY WALLET." IT WASN'T HIS WALLET, BUT I DIDN'T WANT TO RISK HAVING HIM TRY TO TOUCH ME. SO I GAVE IT TO HIM. FUCKING GROSS. DOING GOOD DEEDS REALLY ISN'T WORTH THE TROUBLE. I STRONGLY ADVOCATE AGAINST THEM.