COOKING NAKED IS VERY DANGEROUS.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WAS LIKE BEFORE MY SWIFTER WET.

I FINALLY GAVE IN AND GOT MYSELF A SWIFTER WET.

I RAN INTO AN OLD FRIEND I HADN'T SEEN IN ABOUT 5 YEARS. THEN HE WAS A WEB DESIGNER. HIS APARTMENT WAS DECORATED POORLY AND HE HAD ALL SORTS OF TENNIS PARAPHERNALIA STREWN ABOUT.

NOW HE DID "INTERIOR DESIGN". HIS APARTMENT LOOKED VERY CHIC. THERE WAS TASTEFUL ART ON THE WALLS AND THE FURNITURE WAS MODERN. HIS KITCHEN WAS TRANSFORMED INTO A MAKE-SHIFT ART STUDIO -- HE SEEMED TO BE SOME SORT OF ARTIST, AND HIS PAINTINGS WERE GOOD.

HE DIDN'T REALLY REMEMBER ME THAT WELL FROM FIVE YEARS AGO. FOR A SECOND I WONDERED IF THIS WAS THE SAME PERSON. HE TURNED ON WIMBLETON, SO I KNEW IT WAS. I GUESS PEOPLE CAN CHANGE.

is that all there is?

HOW I SPENT THE LAST DAY OF MY TWENTIES:

1. WORKED OUT (FUCKING WASTE OF TIME)
2. ATE SOME BUN
3. BOUGHT A COUCH (THANKS MA!)
4. GOT A MASSAGE
5. ATE COCO PUFFS AND A PROTIEN BAR FOR DINNER
5. 3-4 NAPS

IT'S GREAT HAVING A PERSONAL MASSEUSE. IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I COULD AFFORD TO SEE HIM MORE THAN ONCE A YEAR.

SCARY! A FEW DAYS AGO I HAD A DREAM I FOUND $850 DOLLARS IN CASH. THEN EARLIER TODAY, I WAS WALKING ... AND I FOUND $.08 CENTS JUST SITTING THERE ON THE LEDGE OF A BUILDING. IF YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE I WAS PSYCHIC BEFORE ...

LISA AND I GOT OUR PALMS READ FOR $7.50 A FEW WEEKS AGO. AT THE TIME WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY SEEMED RIGHT, BUT IN RETROSPECT, I REALIZE THAT WE'VE BEEN HAD.

WATCH ME BE A GUEST ON A HIT TALK SHOW.

THE LAUNDRY. IT'S AN UPHILL BATTLE. SOMETHING'S ALWAYS KEEPING ME FROM DOING IT, TOO. EITHER NO QUARTERS, OR NO DETERGENT, OR I JUST DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. MY HAMPER WILL NEVER BE EMPTY.

THE GYM IS SUCH A HUGE WASTE OF FUCKING TIME. GAWD.

STAYING IN ALL DAY AND NOT LEAVING YOUR HOUSE MAKES YOUR REALLY APPRECIATE NATURE WHEN YOU ACTUALLY DO LEAVE.

SOMETIMES I TRY TO IMAGINE MY LIFE BEFORE THE GEORGE FORMAN GRILL. I JUST CAN'T.

JUNE 2004 WILL BE THE FIRST MONTH IN EIGHT YEARS I DIDN'T BUY A MUNI PASS. I GUESS I JUST DON'T REALLY NEED ONE ANY MORE. THAT'S GREAT.

THERE'S NOT MUCH YOU CAN SAY ABOUT THE WEATHER. EITHER "IT'S NICE OUT," OR "IT'S CRAPPY OUT" OR "IT'S NICE OUT BUT IT'S GOING TO GET CRAPPY OUT SOON," OR "IT'S CRAPPY OUT AND IT'S GOING TO GET NICE SOON."

AND YET. PEOPLE LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.

MANGOS ARE DELISH, BUT ULTIMATELY TOO MUCH WORK.

TWO PEOPLE ASKED TO TAKE MY PICTURE TODAY. MODELING SESSION! I GUESS THEY FIND ME A-MUSE-ING. HAR!

IT'S BORING AND ESOTERIC, BUT IF YOU'RE SO INCLINED, DO CHECK OUT MY OTHER BLOG, THE GAY PORN BLOG.

CILANTRO IS EVIL. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY, BUT JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

HERE'S A HOUSEHOLD CLEANING TIP! IF YOUR APARTMENT HAS EASTERN EXPOSURE, THE BEST TIME TO DUST IS AT DAWN, BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE ALL THE DUST REALLY CLEARLY.

HERE'S A PICTURE OF MY TWO NIECES, JADEN EMILY (LEFT) AND ARIEL BARON (RIGHT). LITTLE CRUMB SNATCHERS!

BUT I HAVE TO SAY, THEY REALLY DO GROW UP SO FAST!

I BID A BITTERSWEET YET FOND FAREWELL TO A DEAR FRIEND WHO'S MOVING TO NEW YORK TODAY. THOUGH I THINK NEW YORK IS KIND OF A DRAG, I DO THINK HE'LL DO GREAT THERE.

HE TOOK THIS CURIOUS PHOTO OF ME.

AU REVOIR AND GODSPEED YOUNG CORY!