I DON'T REALLY CARE HOW I DIE SO LONG AS THE WORDS "HE DIDN'T SEE IT COMING" ARE USED IN MY OBITUARY.

Q: WHAT DID YOU GET FOR BREAKFAST TODAY?

A: A STOMACH ACHE.

SOMETHING IS WRONG WHEN I'M PULLING UP A CHAIR TO DO WORK AND I'VE GOT A MUG OF STEAMING HERBAL INFUSION IN MY HAND. SOMETHING IS WRONG -- OR SOMETHING IS SO RIGHT.

HOW I'VE BEEN FEELING LATELY